It’s 11pm. I’m just crawling into bed after trying to work a few hours after putting the girls to bed. I’ve been up since 5am with both girls after intermittent sleep all night. Both girls waking up every hour or two back and forth. My to-do list for both home and work growing instead of shrinking. There’s simply not enough time or energy for that matter to get through some days.
The day was long. It was a struggle.
A struggle that only a mom truly understands. The Mom Struggle.
I know I yelled too many times, got upset, and didn’t breathe and reboot enough. I didn’t take the time to bask in the beautiful moments that were happening. I may have been counting down the hours until bedtime. Between the baby screaming because her gums hurt from teething, to the threeanger’s attitude and incessant need to say “mom” over and over and over again. Trying to get my work done both for the business and to keep the home in order. I’m…just…so…tired. I need a break.
I find myself. Crawling into bed and the wave of hormones rush over me like I’m drowning in their love.
I kiss the baby on her head. Rub her soft, baby hair and rub my nose against her cheek. Something so smooth and innocent about her sleeping makes me realize how precious life is every day.
I look at my toddler. Your sweet, peaceful, sleeping face. I take in the scent of your hair. I notice that you no longer have sweet baby’s breath. I tenderly rub your cheek, stroke your hair, reach in to kiss your cheek. You start moving and I pray that you don’t wake up, but just let me take this moment in for a bit longer. For I know that tomorrow you are going to be just a little bit older.
So, please, stay sleeping, and let me have this moment.
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