Read our Introduction to #RoadToTubalAt30 Series First here.
The seven days between scheduling and having our pre-op appointment was the biggest mix of emotions I’ve probably ever had in my life. Every single day I questioned if I was making the right decision.
Most of the emotions surrounded the fact that I was going to be put under general anesthesia for the surgery and the fact that it was an invasive surgery. What if I didn’t wake up? What if I bled out? Andrew barely likes being alone with the girls while I run to the store. How would he handle them by himself? Both girls would immediately be weaned from breastmilk, which would be so traumatic for them. My goal of homeschooling them would likely never happen. They’ve never been to daycare, what would happen, who would raise them?
So many questions.
Was I truly 100% sure that I would never want another child? Andrew and I were completely both in agreement, but there’s still that microcosm of wonder if it’s the right decision. We had two girls, but we both really wanted a boy. If I did this, there would never be a chance for me to biologically have a son.
While we both agreed that this was the best way to keep our family together, there was that twinge in the back of everyone’s mind of “what if we aren’t together forever?” That could be from something happening to Andrew or us just physically not being in a relationship anymore. Would I miss out on love in the future if I told someone I couldn’t physically have children anymore?
The worries, doubts, and fears surrounding the day only exacerbated when I went in for our pre-op appointment. It was the day that our doctor made sure this was 100% our decision, answered any questions, and explained the procedure. Thankfully, she didn’t push the issue of whether or not I was sure. I knew I was, so I was praying she didn’t lecture me on only being 30. I asked a few questions like length of surgery, recovery time, etc. She then went on to explain the procedure and discuss a decision that I needed to make.
Still called a tubal ligation, I needed to decide if I wanted my tubes tied versus removed. They now recommend completely removing the tubes instead of “tying” or “burning” them. The main reason she stated was because it lowers the risk of ovarian cancer since it often starts in the tubes. Without tubes, you also remove the risk of an ectopic pregnancy. Surgery time would increase by about 10-15 minutes and I would have one additional incision site (3 instead of 2).
The biggest thing was without tubes there was 0% chance of ever getting pregnant again. There were no questions, no possibility of a reversal, it was a 100% lasting decision. Given that the benefits far outweighed any risks, we decided for a complete tubal removal. We kept the surgery on schedule and the next 11 days would continue to pose all of these questions even more until it was surgery day.
Over the next few weeks I’m going to be writing about our decision for me to undergo a tubal ligation at 30 on Mondays and Wednesdays (2 times a week). You can follow along with #RoadtoTubalat30 –
If you missed any of the previous posts, you can read the entire series:
- No More Babies – Series Introduction
- After the first baby
- Second pregnancy – What the hell was I thinking?
- All hell broke loose
- The last 18 months
- The Scare
- Worries, Doubts and Fears about a tubal ligation
- It happened – recovery and thoughts after the procedure
I hope you’ll follow along! Feel free to tweet us at @wereparents or e-mail us at email@example.com if there’s any specific questions that you hope we answer over the next few posts.