First of all thank you so much We’re Parents!? for letting me come over and take over this space for a few minutes of time! It is indeed a pleasure and a privilege to share with you here. I blog over at You Brew My Tea and would love for you to stop by and check out my page!
I was so excited to have this opportunity because I remember all too well how hectic those first few days, weeks and even months were when I had my two sons. But I wanted everyone (especially Larisha) to know that you will survive adjusting to life with a new baby. Nine years down the road, I look back and I realize how many things I wish someone had told me ahead of time to prep me but mostly to reassure me. Even with my second child I still second guessed myself all the time. I wish I had more confidence and reassurance that if I didn’t “do” everything suggested he would still be just fine. So, I thought I would share a few thoughts with you all today that I think are important to remember when facing your first, second or even seventh child’s birth.
(1) No, your boobs will truly NEVER be the same. BUT – there are great plastic surgeons who can lift them and perk them up later in life. For now, relish the fact that your body was created to perfectly nourish that sweet baby in it’s early months of life. Oh, and of course – remember that [nipple cream] is your friend!
(2) Those women who pop babies out, go home the same day, bake muffins, have family over for an 8 course dinner and look like they just stepped out of a magazine shoot are liars! Be realistic with yourself. Understand that if you stay in your jammies and don’t cook AT ALL for the first month it’s not unreasonable nor does it make you less than a woman/mother. If you don’t slip back into your size 2 jeans in two weeks, it’s okay. It takes time and there are tons of adjustments to make. Concentrate on the important things – your own healing and your babies health and adjustments. You see that picture ^^ Yep. two days after giving birth, no makeup and yes, I was ticked off that my Dad insisted on taking my picture. This look is perfectly normal for the first several weeks and months of your child’s life.
(3) Although I am and always will be an advocate for cloth diapering, breastfeeding and baby wearing to name a few – it does not make you less of a mother if those things do not work out well for you. Do what is best for YOU and your overall family health. Sometimes, cloth diapers just aren’t going to be doable. Sometimes a baby just doesn’t latch well, a mommy doesn’t produce enough milk or work schedules make mastitis a miserable fact of life you choose not to experience. And that is okay.
As a mother of two beautiful healthy sons I know that I made a lot of mistakes in those early days. I have made even more in the last 9 years as they have grown into wonderful young men who make me proud. Breast feeding wasn’t even a thought when I had my first son – it never crossed my mind. By the time my second son rolled around I wanted desperately to breast feed but the relationship I was in prevented that from happening. I mourn the loss of those moments of nourishment my body could have provided, but I still have two sons who are healthy and happy and well adjusted. I don’t beat myself up over it. Although many people co-sleep and would never think of doing anything different, I was glad to have my own space back in my own bed. Both of my boys were in a bassinet by my bed for the first 3 months and then off to their crib in another room at that point. Baby monitors were my friend.
In the end, we can plan and pack and prepare ourselves to do everything as healthy and best for our child and our own bodies as possible and sometimes we find it just doesn’t work out that way. What is most important – more so than whether the child is breast fed or formula fed – is how much you love them and nurture their spirit. And to do that, you must take care of your own body and spirit. When your child is 5, 10, 15, or 50 years old – whether you used a cloth diaper, breast fed, co-slept or cleaned the house with only green products is unlikely to matter or make a mark in their memory. That you loved them, nurtured them and made sure their spirits were encouraged and that they felt worthy will be far more important.
Disclaimer: This is a guest post and not written by We’re Parents!? Thoughts and opinions do not necessarily reflect our own.