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Mom’s Delivery Bag Essentials

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Mom’s Delivery Bag Essentials is a no-fluff list of things you actually need to pack for once you have the baby.   

*DISCLOSURE: THIS IS A SPONSORED POST ON BEHALF OF INSPIRA HEALTH. THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ARE 100% MY OWN. Affiliate links contained in this post. 

If you are anything like I was when preparing to have my two children, then you are likely 38 1/2 weeks and just realized that your baby is literally coming any day and you should probably pack.  Therefore, you definitely need this list of mom’s delivery bag essentials. 

Also, if you happen to be 20 weeks or so and looking at this, then kudos to you, I’m so proud of you!  Can you teach me and the others ready this how to not procrastinate? 

But seriously… Why is it so overwhelming to think of what to pack into of a bag that you are only going to use for hopefully a day or two?  It seems so much more complicated that if you were just packing to go away for 2 days.  

Today, I’m going to be sharing my must haves in mom’s delivery bag for postpartum.  We’ll share our newborn baby bag essentials in another post! 

For reference, Dr. Vivian Vega, Chair of the Department of OB-GYN at Inspira Medical Center Woodbury
and the new Inspira Medical Center Mullica Hill, recommends that your bags be packed by 36 weeks. 

So what do we bring? And more importantly, maybe what’s not even needed.  Because let’s just all go ahead and admit that when we overthink things, we end up packing too much. 

We don’t need to do that here. 

Promise me that you aren’t going to do that here. 

I’m waiting…..

Promised? Okay, good. Moving on. 

Listen, I’m not going to fill your list with a bunch of fluff and be unrealistic.  So here’s your perfect, no-
fluff, mom’s delivery bag essentials list for non-scheduled vaginal births.

Mom’s Delivery Bag Essentials Must Haves

  1. Important documents –

    • A lot of hospitals have you fill out forms ahead of time now; however, it’s still important that you being along your ID, medical insurance card, and list of your medications.
    • I’d also throw in that if you have a written birth plan, bring that along as well. 

  2. Lip Balm 

    • You will see this on every single hospital bag packing list that you ever read. And for good reason.  Hospitals tend to be dry and this can crack your lips.  Bring the balm every time! 

  3. Hair Tie

    • My hair is always up, however, if you always wear your hair down, ensure that you have a hair tie in the bag.  Trust me, most moms don’t want their hair in the way during delivery. 

  4. Cell Phone Charger

    • Not during delivery, but afterwards, you are going to be taking photos and videos and making calls — your phone will drain that battery quickly.  If you can, having a portable battery pack is even better since you have no idea how far away outlets are in your hospital room. 

  5. Any of your favorite things 

    • If you wear make up, bring it. If you have a favorite toothpaste, bring it. Or, if you have to sleep with a certain pillow every single night, DEFINITELY BRING IT. 
    • Whatever your MUST HAVEs are in your day to day life, you should absolutely bring any of them.  Don’t go overboard, but if you must brush your hair and moisturizer during the first 10 minutes after getting out of bed, then those are two things you should absolutely be bringing. 

  6. Flip flops for the shower

    • After you deliver, you’ll certainly want flip flops for the hospital showers. You don’t
      want to risk falling/slipping.

  7. High protein snacks for after delivery 

    • I remember that with our second, she was born in the middle of the night and the hospital cafeteria wasn’t open.  Luckily, I was prepared with some high protein granola bars. 
    • Even if you don’t give birth in the middle of the night, depending on how long your labor is and how long it takes to get everything done, it could be awhile before you are able to eat.  Packing snacks helps so much! 

  8. Nursing pads 

    • Even if you aren’t planning to breast feed, your boobs are still going to leak a bit of milk
      and nursing pads can help.

  9. Nipple cream 

    • Nipple cream is a lifesaver.  Your hospital will likely have some, but it will be in those individual use packages.  We like bringing our own so we can use as much as we want and also to reduce our waste.

  10. Sitz spray 

    • Thank. Me. Later. 
    • This stuff is AHHHH-Mazzinggg.  And your lady parts will be so grateful that you have this both at the hospital and once you get home. 

  11. Super loose clothing to wear home

    • Repeat after me: “I will not bring clothes that I fit in before getting pregnant”
    • Postpartum, especially the first few days after is not glamorous.  Your body, for most people, doesn’t just snap back. Therefore, bring that super comfy, baggy clothes in order to wear home. 

Bonus 1: Boppy pillow. If you are planning to breastfeed, absolutely bring your nursing pillow in with you. If will help you start to practice using it and always be able to ask the lactation consultant if they have any tips if you aren’t getting it right away. 

Bonus 2: If you are planning to need to be at the hospital for an extended induction or stay, packing a robe and slippers to walk around would definitely be useful. 

Now go prepare to enjoy that beautiful baby! 

We hope you found this list of mom’s delivery bag essentials helpful.  What would you add to the list?

THANKS TO INSPIRA HEALTH FOR SPONSORING THIS SERIES OF POSTS ABOUT OWNING YOUR PREGNANCY YOUR WAY.  WE WILL BE SHARING MORE WITH AND FROM THEM OVER THE NEXT FEW MONTHS, INCLUDING THE OPENING OF THEIR BRAND NEW FACILITY IN MULLICA HILL, NEW JERSEY. STAY TUNED FOR THE FUN!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Lactation Boosting Milkshake

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This Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Lactation Boosting Milkshake is the most delicious, easy lactation recipe that you need! Drink one everyday!

 
When I was pregnant, I knew one thing–I was going to breastfeed.  That’s all I knew. I knew it was better for my baby than formula, and since I was planning to be a stay-at-home mom and leave corporate America, obviously breastmilk was the most economical option.  
 
I set a goal for 6 weeks. 
 
Why no one in my life told me how difficult it was going to be was beyond me.  We did great in the hospital, and then It seems like the moment we walked into our house, hell broke loose. 
 
IT. WAS. HARD. Y’ALL!!!
 
We did have a successful breastfeeding journey. I nursed both of our girls for 3 and 4 years, respectively. And, while we’ve had our ups and down, there were a lot more ups than there were downs. 
 
Luckily, I was super grateful for lactation recipes. They definitely made me feel more confident in succeeding.
 

Watch how to make this chocolate lactation smoothie: 

Do Lactation Recipes Work?

One of the things I hear most from friends who reach out to me about breastfeeding is that they are scared they won’t produce enough milk.  And my answer is always, “it’s very rare that a mom actually have production issues, however, you can take precautions and be proactive in helping your supply.” I’ve been working to create some great, easy recipes to share so moms have great options when they need them.  
 
So how can this recipe help with lactation?  
 
Oats and Flax are known help boost milk production, while the peanut butter is a great protein to make sure you are getting the calories you need while satisfying your hunger since you are probably stuck on a couch nursing a baby.

**Note:  If you are truly concerned about your milk production, please reach out to an IBCLC and/or your local La Leche League. You can also read our post about Lactation Boosting Foods to increase your milk supply. 

What ingredients are in a chocolate peanut butter banana lactation milkshake?

The ingredients sound pretty straights forward.  Of course you need: 

  • cocoa powder
  • peanut butter
  • and frozen banana

But you will also need: 

  • rolled oats (old fashioned)
  • ground flaxseed
  • milk (dairy free if needed)
  • ice to make it thicker 

That’s it, just 7 ingredients for this easy and delicious recipe

Do I have to be lactating to enjoy this milkshake?

I get this question a lot when some moms see this post shared in a Facebook group or on Instagram.  They love the combo, but they either didn’t or are no longer nursing.  The good news ….No! You don’t. 

If you look at the ingredient list, there is nothing in there that the average person couldn’t enjoy.  It just so happens that the combination of ingredients seem to help lactating mothers.  

In fact, Andrew has drank this milkshake on more than a few occasions. I’ve had it not breastfeeding.  And it’s a great one to give to your little ones, since it’s all natural ingredients.  Even though there’s a little bit of chocolate, it’s natural cocoa powder and we don’t use any added sweeteners. 

What oats are best for lactation?

We prefer old fashioned rolled oats over quick oats.  While both are whole grains and the same product, old fashioned oats have not been processed, thus are more in their true form.  

You can definitely use quick oats if you have them on hand and do not have old fashioned oats, but we do prefer the later.  

Also, it’s important to note that you should not use instant oats in this recipe.  They will soak up the milk too quickly and you will end up with something more like overnight oats (delicious, but not what you want for this recipe). 

Helpful Tips for this Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Lactation Boosting Milkshake: 

  • If you do not want a “grainy” lactation smoothie, then add the oats and flax seeds first and pulse to grind into a fine powder first.  Then, add in the remaining ingredients and blend thoroughly.  
  • If you are nut free, you can sub with sunbutter, but the taste will be different.  We find sunbutter a little more powerful in flavor than peanut butter, so adjust the level of cocoa or even add a splash of maple syrup. 
  • Other nut butters, besides peanut butter, may also be used. 
  • I’ve made it with both fresh and frozen bananas.  Both are great.  You may need to add a bit more ice with a fresh banana to make it as thick.
  •  100% Cacao is slightly bitter since there are no sweeteners. If you are looking for a sweeter taste, add 1/2 to 1 full tablespoon of raw honey, agave, or maple syrup.
  • Subbing milk for coconut or almond milk, or even water is always an options, though the taste will be different.

The tips above will help ensure that you are able to create a Top 8 Allergen Free lactation smoothie if that is something that you need. 

What are other lactation recipes that I should try?

Once you try this delicious lactation smoothie, we are sure that you are going to be looking for other delicious recipes to try!  Good news, is that we have a few that are too die for.  Some, maybe even better than this recipe (is that even possible!?) Here’s some ideas: 

We hope that you love these recipes! 

4.91 from 10 votes
Print
Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Lactation Boosting Milkshake
Prep Time
5 mins
Total Time
5 mins
 

This Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Lactation Boosting Milkshake is the most delicious easy lactation recipe that you need! Drink one everyday! 

Course: Breakfast, Dessert
Cuisine: Lactation
Keyword: lactation recipes
Servings: 1 milkshake
Calories: 557 kcal
Author: Larisha Campbell
Ingredients
  • 1 frozen banana
  • 1/4 cup old fashioned oats
  • 2 tbsp peanut butter
  • 1 tbsp flax seed (up to 2 tbsp if you are really looking to boost milk production)
  • 2 tablespoon 100% cacao powder
  • 3/4 cup milk (use dairy free if needed)
  • 2 cups ice
  • Toppings optional: Whipped Cream, powdered chocolate, sliced bananas
Instructions

  1. In a blender, add the oats and give it a quick pulse or two. 

  2. Add remaining ingredients, except ice, and blend until well combined. 

  3. Add 2 cups of ice until well blended. 

  4. Enjoy with a thick straw or a spoon!

  5. *Feel free to skip the ice if you just want a smoothie.

Recipe Notes

**Nutritional facts are just estimates. Please utilize your own brand nutritional values to double check against our estimates. 

 

**See tips in post about making this a Top 8 Allergen Free smoothie.

Nutrition Facts
Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Lactation Boosting Milkshake
Amount Per Serving (1 milkshake)
Calories 557 Calories from Fat 261
% Daily Value*
Fat 29g45%
Saturated Fat 8g50%
Cholesterol 18mg6%
Sodium 234mg10%
Potassium 1178mg34%
Carbohydrates 64g21%
Fiber 13g54%
Sugar 27g30%
Protein 21g42%
Vitamin A 370IU7%
Vitamin C 10.2mg12%
Calcium 269mg27%
Iron 3.7mg21%
* Percent Daily Values are based on a 2000 calorie diet.


**The pictures below were the original pictures for this Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Lactation Boosting Milkshake which you may have seen floating around Pinterest.  It’s the same recipe, we’ve just gotten a lot better at photography!
 
 
Originally publish May 2014. Updated 3/31/2017 and again on 5/6/2019.

10 Ways Dads Can Help with New Baby

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This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #ParentingWithPrimoH20 #CollectiveBias

Dads are an integral part of parenting and there are plenty of ways that dads can help new moms. We discuss 10 ways dads can help with new baby that will truly help mom, and the family as a whole. 

Parenting is no joke. Everyone thinks it’s going to be easy until the day that a baby is placed in their arms and then things get real.  You realize that someone is entrusting you with a whole actual life and there’s no manual.  It’s all up to you and no matter how many classes you took or books you read, that all goes out the window. For many decades, the main parenting roles have been left to mom. However, as we move into a new era, dads are helping more.  For many, they simply don’t know how to help because they were never shown. Luckily, there’s dozens of ways dads can help with new baby whether it’s baby number 1 or number 10.

The most important thing for dads to remember is that moms need their help more than ever during the first 6-8 weeks after childbirth. If a mother had a vaginal birth it’s a minimum of 6 weeks. If she had a c-section, it’s a minimum of 8 weeks. However, beyond that the first 6 months, especially after the first child, are a transition period that all mothers can use as much help as possible.  Mothers are known for being strong, so it’s important that you save this list and try to help as much as you can, even if she says she doesn’t need the help.

10 Ways Dads Can Help with New Baby

This list is great for whether this is the first baby or baby number seven.  If there is a new baby in the house, these are ways dads can help a new mom.

1. Know what postpartum depression and anxiety are and how it differs from postpartum blues. 

Baby blues are a period of a few days up to two weeks after baby is born that mom may be sad, scared, or feeling overwhelmed. Often times, mothers cry because of these feelings.  Learn more about how to distinguish between the postpartum blues and more serious diagnosis of postpartum depression so that you know when you need to reach out to her medical care provider for assistance. Never judge her for feeling this way.

2. Listen to her 

When someone has a baby, their hormones are shifted all over the place.  There are lots of emotions that come along with this, including anxiousness, fear, and guilt. Being able to open up and have someone by your side is critical during the first few weeks.  You can really help by just offering to listen to how she feels.

3. Tell people that want to visit that they need to bring a meal or do a chore

Lots of people want to come over, but rarely do they want to do anything but hold the new baby.  Speak up and ask for help from anyone that asks to come over, especially if someone asks if you need anything. “We would love if you could help with dinner tonight” or “I could really use some help with the dishes or laundry”.  Most people are willing to assist and it takes a load (pun intended) off of the new parents.

4. Do the household chores and errands 

The more you do, the less she’ll feel stressed.  If you remember only this line, it will help everything so much. Remember she just birthed a baby. Yes, you are learning the ropes too, but your organs aren’t shifting back into place after being moved for the past 9 months approximately.  Things you can do are the dishes, laundry, dusting, sweeping, mopping, and more inside the house.  Outside errands include going grocery store, grabbing household necessities like toiletries and cleaning supplies, more diapers, or dropping things off at the post office if needed.  Any way that you can reduce the amount she has to do will help.

5. Make the meals (breakfast, lunch, and/or but especially dinner)

By the end of the day, the last thing a new mom wants to do is prep dinner. If you do nothing else, helping to make dinner every night for the first few weeks will be a huge help. Ask family to help by bringing or having dinner delivered, make easy meals like bbq sliders or pasta salad.

6. Set up some type of home self care appointment.

Self-care is a thing most moms fail at. Moms constantly feel like they have to take care of everyone else, which leaves no time to take care of her. After having a new baby, self-care is critical because mom needs to feel like she still is somewhat of the same her that she’s always been, even though she’ll forever be different.  This is especially true after the first baby.

Some ideas would be to set up a postpartum massage, hair appointment or mani/pedi but with someone that comes to your house. Local Facebook groups are great for finding someone like this.  Make sure to get references and/or reviews of people. Another option would be to ask her if she’d prefer to get out of the house to do this.  Sometimes if moms have postpartum depression, being away from her baby terrifies her so having this in home will help.  However, some moms would love to have an hour or two out of the house and this is the perfect way.   Offer to drive her if she’s still under the driving restriction.

7. Try to soothe the baby yourself 

Mothers are known to naturally have maternal instincts. Women are raised to play with dolls, be babysitters, and natural nurture. So it’s only natural. However, that doesn’t mean dad can’t. Not only do dads need to learn to do this so they can bond with babies themselves; but, soothing a baby helps a mom’s stress levels.  If mom is the only one who can care for a baby’s cries, it becomes exhausting and overwhelming.  Offer to try to help.

8. Let mom have some me time

Whether mom wants to take a shower alone or take a walk outside, let her. Don’t ask her how long or rush her when she’s doing what she’s decided on.  You can and will successfully be able to take care of a baby.  If you need help, call another woman figure in your life whether your own mothers or another friend that is a parent you know, but let mom have a little peace of her own.

9. Bring her snacks

You may think that as soon as she stops eating for 2 people that she won’t be as hungry but that’s not true.  Having a newborn is demanding, especially if she is breastfeeding and/or has more than one child to attend too.  Here’s over 100 postpartum snack ideas for you to make and bring her when she’s hungry.

10. Keep her water bottle or glass filled up

Moms need to stay hydrated! This is especially important if mom is breastfeeding. You can easily keep her water bottle filled up with a Primo® First Steps Bottom-Loading Water Dispenser. It allows for the perfect temperature of cold water that is always readily available.  You can even set it up right in your room so you never have to worry about make long treks down stairs or hallways in the middle of the night.  It seems simple, but mothers are usually parched and need to make sure they are getting enough liquid. Primo water has a purification process that removes the presence of chlorine, bacteria, parasites, heavy metals, and travel levels of pharmaceuticals which means mom is drinking healthier and safer water for her.

About the Primo First Steps Bottom-Loading Water Dispenser (link)

  • If you are formula feeding, this water dispenser actually has a warm water option automatically dispenses water at 98.6-104oF, that is specially designed for mixing formula bottles. No more worrying about heating it over the stove at 2am…one touch of a button and it’s the perfect temperature for your baby bottle, every time, which if you’re a parent, you know babies are not patient when they’re hungry. The dispenser even has a LED night light to keep you out of the dark during late night feedings!
  • There is a child resistant safety feature for the hot water, so no worries if you have other children.
  • There’s a self-sanitizing function to ensure quality.
  • Set up took less than 15 minutes without tools or having to hook up to plumbing, and the 5-gallon water bottles easily slide in with the bottom-loading design. This makes it easy for you to move it from the bedroom to the kitchen once your baby has gotten older! 
    • The dispenser takes pre-filled or refillable 3 or 5-gallon water bottles (sold separately) and it was so convenient to find it at a retail location near me!

Whether you are on baby number one or you are a seasoned expert, these are all ways that you can help.  If you have older children, the Primo water dispenser makes it easy for everyone to help mom in the smallest of ways all while keeping everyone healthy.  Learn more and see your closest Primo location for pickup today! (link)

100+ Protein Packed Postpartum Snacks

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All new moms need healthy and delicious snacks after having a baby! Grab our list of more than 100 protein packed postpartum snacks to keep moms energized and fueled. 

Congratulations!!!! If you are reading this list of 100+ postpartum snacks, you likely just had a baby. You are now going to be hungry non-stop. Think you were hungry when you were pregnant!? Wrong.

via GIPHY

Before you continue reading this, I want you to learn from my experience. While I only have two kids and some would say that’s not a ton of experience, I do know how I felt during postpartum days.  No one can understand that unless they have kids.  And no matter what happened the first time around and how much your brain has pushed out of your memory, the second time around doesn’t make postpartum any easier.  So I want you to follow these few simple steps no matter if this is your first baby or your 9th.

  1. Scroll down through the list and pick your Top 5 choices
  2. Send the ideas to your partner or family member helping you
  3. Ask them to make it for you

Part of becoming a new mom is learning to ask for help. Especially if you have other kids, you need all the help you can get.  One of the most important things that you can during postpartum time, is making sure you keep yourself hydrated and fueled to take care of baby.

Now, back to the hunger….

There is nothing like newly postpartum mom hunger. I understand why some mother mammals eat their young. THEY’RE FREAKING HUNGRY. Give them a bit more to eat!

As a new mom, you also don’t feel like cooking anything. This means you need quick, simple, healthy, delicious. We’ve complied a list of great postpartum snacks for anyone.

If you happen to be here and you are not a new mom, you are likely looking for something that you can put together for them.  Kuddos! You’ll definitely want to save this list and over the next 6 months to a year, any time you see this mama, take her a snack.

Why Does a New Mom Need Healthy snacks?

Umm, she just gave birth to a whole human being. That took a lot of energy! In all seriousness, birthing a baby vaginally or by Cesarean is a lot of work.  For the last nine months, mama has had all her organs pushed and shoved, grown new organs, and then expelled all of them for the sake of a tiny little being that is now going to keep her up for hours and hours every night.

It’s exhausting giving birth AND having a newborn. Her body is going to expend a lot of energy getting her body’s organs back into place and realigning other bodily functions. This takes a minimum of six to eight weeks to happen, but often even longer.

Now, if the mama is breastfeeding, she’s going to need even more. She’s physically producing milk which is burning a ton of calories.  In order to continue to make milk, she needs breastfeeding snacks that are healthy for her.

How Many Healthy Snacks Does a New Mom Need?

Overall, a new mom needs between 1800 and 2200 calories a day.  Because moms are always on the go, some of these could be in snack form, like the protein energy bites or avocado toast listed below. If a new mom is breastfeeding, she’ll need to increase her calories by another 500-800 a day. Also, if cleared for working out or tandem nursing (either twins or an older children), she’ll need even more. It’s best to talk to a lactation specialist if breastfeeding or other care physician, like a dietician to get a correct number of caloric intake for each specific person.

What are the best healthy snacks for a new mom? 

We’ve rounded up 100+ Protein Packed Postpartum Snacks that are amazing and just what you need as you transition into this new time in your life. Whether this is baby #1 or #6, you still have to eat. Most of these recipes are easy to make or no bake, but there are a few that requires baking. Make sure you have someone else make those ones for you!

Side note: whether you are breastfeeding or not, these are all great snacks for postpartum mothers. Your body needs fuel to recover and heal and you need to make sure you are getting proper nutrition so you have the energy to keep going.

100+ Delicious Postpartum Snacks for New Moms


Best of luck on this amazing journey of motherhood!

Some things that may help you through the transition:


Other Posts You Might Be Interested In

breastfeeding myths

lactation boosting foods

This post was originally publish on 3/21/2017. Updated on 10/10/2018 and reupdated on 3/25/2019.

Postpartum Almost Ended Our Family

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Postpartum Almost Ended Our Family is a truth in parenting post about the struggles of dealing with postpartum anxiety, depression, and birth control. 

Someone was going to sneak into our house and harm us all.  I knew it.  I had a feeling in my gut it was going to happen. If I didn’t stand at the door and watch the garage door completely shut, someone was going to slip under it, hide out in our garage, and wait until I opened the door again to harm us. 

The first time I had this thought, I shut the door to our garage and chuckled to myself. “Larisha, you are crazy.” I brushed it off, and went about the day. Our second baby was roughly three weeks on when this happened. I didn’t give it much thought. It was just me being a little paranoid with a new baby in the house.

I frantically woke up. The baby wasn’t breathing. 

I screamed at my toddler because she spilt her cup. 

I frantically woke up. The baby wasn’t next to me. Someone must have taken her. 

The garage incident happened again. 

My chest would feel like my heart was going to pound out of chest and my throat would feel like someone was strangling me. 

The garage incident happened again. 

6 Week Postpartum Visit

This and multiple other events happened before I even reached my 6 week postpartum appointment with my OBGYN. When the day of the appointment arrived, I burst out into tears.  I knew that something was wrong, but I was terrified.  How much did I disclose?  If I said too much, I felt like they were going to admit me and take my children away.

Looking back on it now, I feel like this is likely the #1 reason most moms don’t speak up more. We are terrified that someone is going to take our children away. Women would much rather suffer than have it happen. We will bear the weight of the entire world on our shoulders if that means that our children stay with us.

I gave enough information that they agreed it was beyond “baby blues”. It was at that appointment that I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and depression. I was put on Zoloft and also started the mini pill because it was the safest form of birth control for breastfeeding (so I was told).

It got worse before it got better.

While I could tell the Zoloft was helping, my burst of anger towards everyone, including my new baby, and extreme mood swings almost left my relationship with Andrew in shambles. I would go back and forth feeling helpless that I was this horrible mother only for the next day to burst out again. Every time, almost immediately I felt guilt. I was a monster. My children and Andrew didn’t deserve this and I knew that, but I couldn’t control it. I would go days without be upset and then go days of constantly being on edge.

There were certain things – like taking a shower alone or being outdoors that helped, but we don’t have the support to have help often, so many times because of that and Andrew’s long work hours I was left alone with both kids.  All the while, I tried to act to the outside world that everything was really okay when it wasn’t. The combination of everything was almost unbearable for Andrew and I to continue being happy together and because of that our relationship almost ended on more than one occasion through our trials with how I was feeling.

The Mini Pill

A few months went by and I learned through an outside source that the mini pill side effects could be depression and mood swings. I immediately stopped taking the pill and within a week noticed a huge difference in my mood. As someone who reads so much about what medicines I’m giving to my children, I couldn’t believe I didn’t do this for myself.

Where We Are Now

Around the time I stopped taking it, I had already scheduled my appointment to have my tubes removed. Looking back on it now, I’ll admit, I wonder if I made the right decision.  We always wanted more than two children, but with the anxiety and depression, I knew if I had another child it would likely be the end of our relationship for good. It wasn’t a risk I was willing to take.

I’m in a much better place, but we still have moments of craziness. With a 5 and almost 3 year old, I chalk that up to being parenting. Andrew and I are in a better place now but it doesn’t go without the fear that we could have lost it all.

Pin this Postpartum Almost Ended Our Family post for later

I Don’t Sleep With My Husband

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I don’t sleep with my husband is a look into the lives of real parenthood. This post is about the truths of parenting and how if may not be ideal, but parents do everything to find a working solution for their family.

I don't sleep with my husband

Spoiler Alert: First off, we aren’t even married so technically he’s not my husband.

Secondly, get your mind out of the gutter. We’re talking about shutting my eyes and sleeping. Trust me, my sexual needs are being taken care of. TMI????

Now that you have that imagery in your head, let’s get started.

I don’t sleep with my husband.

We sleep in separate rooms which means separate beds. He sleeps in our master bedroom and I sleep in our girls’ room with our girls. Most of the time…it’s complicated.

I remember the first time I told a friend that she looked at me like I had 35 heads. What did I mean we didn’t sleep in the same bed? What kind of nonsense was this? We weren’t 80, why was this happening? I laughed, but she was genuinely confused. And this is typically how the conversation goes every single time it comes up with a friend.

How did we get here?

Let’s go wayyyyy back. It wasn’t always like this. A little over 5 years ago we had our first child. We swore she would never end up in our bed. After not even a week, we were both exhausted. No one was sleeping. The baby ended up falling asleep on my chest one night and all three of us had the best sleep since becoming a family of three. Our journey into attachment parenting kicked up a notch after that night. Soon, she was in our bed all the time. We figured out the safest way to bedshare (co-sleep) and never looked back after that.

cosleeping best for family

We slept this way for over 2 years until baby #2 came into our lives. Things got a little more complicated at this point. Andrew has extremely long days at work outside of the house, so it was important to both of us that he got sleep. We tried transitioning our first into her own room, but ultimately, it was a lot of back and forth for me.

I’m not the type of person that can function on little sleep so something had to change and change fast. Our home was miserable. Everyone was grumpy. And everyone was being affected. The solution….sleep in separate beds. Him in our own master bed and me with our girls in their room. Most nights, I will fall asleep with him in our room and then when one of the girls wakes up, I will go in their room for the rest of the night.

bed sharing better for family

“This is why we don’t co-sleep. Life is not functionable like this.”
“I would have done cry-it-out. There’s no way I’m not sleeping with my husband in our bed.”
“Your sex life must be miserable.”
“The kids would have to go.”

We’ve heard all these things, but what these people fail to realize is that this is a temporary solution. The way we’ve chosen to live our lives isn’t the end of the world, nor is it a permanent solution. Our goal when having kids was to fit ourselves into their lives, not them into ours. But seriously. This isn’t the end all be all. The world is this cruel and evil place. Now, more than ever. Right now, our girls need closeness and comfort that they get from laying with their mother for a few hours every night.

Also, this works for us! Everyone is happy. Our girls sleep (mostly). I sleep. Andrew sleeps. That was our goal and we are succeeding at it even if it’s not a traditional method that everyone has. Our girls are the most important thing we’ve even done and we know that only a few more weekends are going to go by before they are moving out of our house. Truthfully, think about it. We have 18 summers with our children. We all know how fast summers come and go, so for us, we are going to savor the few nights that seem like a drop in the bucket until they no longer need me. Until then…I don’t sleep with my husband. 

PS. Why do people assume that because you don’t sleep for 7 hours in a bed together at night means you aren’t having a sex life?  Y’all realize that sex does not have to happen in the bed at night after the lights are out and you are supposed to be going to bed right? Okay then. 

PPS.  We’re still happy and in love and thriving in our relationship!

why I don't sleep with my husband

Motherhood is Messy

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Motherhood is Messy is a real life depiction about the messy moments that we don’t always talk about in parenting. 

Get a solid night’s sleep without waking up 14 times.
Clothes staying folded in a pile when you walked away from them.
Eat food when it was hot.
Showering alone.
Running into a convenience store because you wanted a smoothie without having to unbuckle and rebuckle and wait 15 minutes because, “I can do it myself.”

Life was definitely more simple before having kids. Motherhood is Messy.

motherhood is messy

In all sense of the words, literally and figuratively, motherhood is messy.

I mean, for starters, your body changes during pregnancy and fluids randomly leak at inconvenient times is just a premonition of what is to come.  You laugh, you pee. You sneeze, you pee. Hiccup, cough, tip-toe across the room you pee yourself. Then, you actually birth said child and you didn’t realize that so many bodily fluids could happen at one time.

Okay, you think, it can’t get worse. But then, you wake up in a sweat every 2.5 hours only to realize every single time that it’s actually just breastmilk leaking from your boobs because your nursing pad fell out of your top. Then, you look at the calendar and it’s only Day 4 of motherhood.

truth in parenting

You go through the next few months of leaking milk when you forget your nursing pads, projectile vomit and poop, sometimes at the same time, and more tears than you’ve cried the previous 26 years combined.

You are emotionally a hot mess. Motherhood is Messy.

Moving on past infancy, you swear things are going to get better.

Then, your whole life is flipped upside down when your little starts to walk. Opening cabinets, pulling things out of drawers behind you, dumping every single bucket of toys they own only not to play with any of them. The next few years aren’t any easier. Then, bam, positive pregnancy test.  WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!? Did you not just go through all of this? We’re going to do it again?  Yup, we’re going to do it again.

postpartum motherhood

Repeat everything that happened in the first three paragraphs, but add in a potty training toddler who will only pee 35 seconds after you took them off the toilet, a kid who likes to squeeze all the yogurt out of the pouch as fast as they can, and also loves seeing if they can actually manage to get all the water out of the tub in the 23 seconds it takes you to run to the hall closet to grab a towel. Hint: They’re pretty successful at doing the last one. 

messy parenting

Motherhood is Messy. 

Fast forward to having a toddler and preschooler and you finally feel like you are above water. The only issue is, it’s an entirely new set of messy obstacles. Schedules shift to include school and extracurricular activities, there’s new found messy fun like painting and mudpie making. It’s always something. You finally felt like you have it down, but the truth is, it’s always changing.  There’s always a new messy obstacle and always something that keeps you from feeling like you actually have it together.

messy moments in parenting

One thing remains constant – Motherhood is Messy. 

But it’s your messy. It’s your normal. While every day isn’t perfect, most moments are. We can embrace the good times. Shoot, we can even get messy with them. One thing remains true through it all and that is that laughter is the best remedy for those overwhelmed moments. Sit down and finger paint with them. Toss all the clothes up in the air.  Leave the dishes in the sink for an extra few hour to go outside and swing together. Whatever it is, embrace the messiness of motherhood.

messy motherhood moments

Motherhood is no easy flight, but I promise there’s moments that make it all worth it. When your kid asks to sit near you while you do a chore. Or when they bring you a picture that they made just for you. We have to be willing to accept and embrace our imperfections. Because while motherhood is messy, it’s all ours.

honest parenting

365 Daily Quotes of Encouragement

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Everyone needs a little pick me up sometimes.  Start your day off right with this 365 Daily Quotes of Encouragement Free Printable! 

Disclosure: This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #BigelowTea #TeaProudly #CollectiveBias

365 daily encouragement

Three years ago, I walked into our bedroom to see what appeared to be some sort of explosion.  There was stuff everywhere.  Papers and scissors, craft boards that I haven’t seen since high school social studies class project days, and some bottle of stuff called Mod Podge. I had no idea what was going on at the time. Larisha could sense my confusion and said, “Don’t worry, just making a vision board.” A-do-what?

365 daily motivation

Since then, I’ve seen the effects on how having something that is in your face to read every morning can change your mind set and help you reach your goals. Waking up and reading, “You are awesome” or “You’ve totally got this” when you aren’t in such a great mood to start can absolutely change the mindset of anyone. If you’re willing that is. 

motherhood moments

Larisha and I also realized that this type of encouragement helped our girls as well, mainly our older girl right now. You see, she’s at this awesome, but vulnerable age currently.  Telling her to pick a paper out of the jar that says “You are beautiful” or “Today’s going to be amazing” lights her up so much.

While the visions boards are old news for us, the encouragement jar is something new. For us, we try to pick one of the 365 Daily Quotes of Encouragement out of the jar as a family. Every morning, our new tradition starts by making a cup of Bigelow tea- we’ve really been loving the Green tea with pomegranate. Then, whatever that piece of paper says, we try to stick to that as our mantra for the day.

bigelow tea

January is actually Hot Tea Month, so it’s the perfect time to pick up a new tradition of a cup of tea and daily quotes of encouragement jar. You can hover over the image below to see how you can easily purchase Bigelow tea at Walmart.

 

365 Daily Quotes of Encouragement Jar Free Printable 

We truly believe in the power of encouragement. Because of that we wanted to make this as simple as possible.  We have (almost) every thing done for you. The supplies you need are:

All you need to do is make your favorite cup of tea. Then, enjoy while you are waiting for the printable to print out. Next, cut out all the phrases of encouragement while you drink your tea. Finally, place in a jar and pull one out each day.

daily motivation for dads

Grab your 365 Daily Phrases of Encouragement. 

 

365 daily pieces of encouragement

 

What are your New Year New You goals or plans for the year? Leave a comment below and let me know! Make sure the next time you are out shopping, you can a box of Bigelow tea from Walmart.

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#TeaProudly #Sweepstakes (1/16 to 2/28)

daily encouragement for kids

25 Ways to Practice Self-Care After Kids Go To Bed

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25 Ways to Practice Self-Care After Kids Go To Bed are simple, lost cost solutions to get more self-care back into your life. 

ways to practice self-care Affiliate links contained in this post help us to earn a commission to keep this site running. Thank you for your support.

I remember when I first got pregnant, I swore nothing would be different.  It’s just a little baby, how much could life really change.  Fast forward, five years, and life has determined that to be a lie. Parenting has been the most challenging, yet most rewarding experience I’ve ever had in my life.  I wouldn’t change it for the world. However, within the last year or so, I’ve pushing for me more.

I struggled with undiagnosed postpartum depression and anxiety with my first and diagnosed, but worse the second time around. One thing that didn’t click with me for the longest time was that I was doing nothing for self-care. Before having kids, there was so many little things that I would do that there no longer seemed to be time for. Thankfully, with the help of some amazing people who came into my life over the last two years, I’m prioritizing self-care.

My friend Alice said it best when she said that prioritizing herself is important “so that I can be my best self for others too.” That includes our family, friends, co-workers and anyone that we come in contact with throughout the day.

Today, I wanted to share with you 25 Ways to Practice Self-Care After Kids Go To Bed

ways to practice self-care after kids go to bed

We asked some of our favorite mom friends for their self-care ideas that help them the most. All of these ideas are low-cost or free things that you can do in your own home after the kids go to bed. I’m fully aware that for many, leaving the house isn’t an option. But there’s still plenty of ways to practice self-care.

  1. Make Homemade Hot Chocolate, make sure to add extra marshmallows (and maybe some Baileys)
  2. Take A Bubble Bath (add in some DIY Bath Bombs for even more relaxation)
  3. Doodle
  4. Try a DIY Exfoliating Salt Scrub
  5. Put Earbuds in and listen to your favorite podcast or music while blocking out all other noise
  6. Do your nails with a simple polish or get a gel look
  7. Take class on YouTube – like yoga, learn how to cook something new, crocheting tutorial, etc)
  8. Binge your favorite show or classic favorite teenage movie
  9. Rearrange a Space to give it a new look and new feel
  10. Color Under a Fort (it still makes you just as happy as it did when you were 10)
  11. Declutter a Space
  12. Meditate
  13. Re-learn how to breathe using a breathing app
  14. Journal your thoughts
  15. Read a book you’ve been wanting to for the longest time
  16. “Window-shop” on Amazon and make a wishlist of cool things you find
  17. Bake Something that makes you happy to eat
  18. Make something that brings our your artistic side (painting, needlework, sewing)
  19. Enhance the smell of your house by using essential oils in a diffuser or burning incense
  20. Play music that takes you back to a fun and happy time
  21. Do a 10-20 minute workout from a YouTube video (Zumba is a fun one)
  22. Deep condition your hair or do a mud mask facial
  23. Listen to a motivational speaker
  24. Garden
  25. Just sit for a few minutes in silence (this is paired well with #13)

Just find a way to get a few minutes in every day.

I get it.  Taking time for yourself isn’t easy.  But you owe it to yourself to attempt to take a few minutes each day and do something for yourself.  These are all ways that you can practice self-care without ever leaving your house and that cost little to nothing.

how to practice self-care

 Special thanks the following friends for help with this 25 Ways to Practice Self-Care After Kids Go To Bed post: 

A Whole Story, Ok Dani, BernettaStyle, Bianca Dottin, Hustle or Hyde, And Starring As Herself….MrsRKFJ, Anointed Heels, Mia Cupcake, The Shirley Journey, Give An Eff, and Courtney’s Sweets

I Didn’t Realize How Much I Still Want Another Baby

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We’re never having another baby.

I’ll never celebrate a 1st birthday again.

My baby will never be a big sister.

Motherhood has this weird effect on you. It’s literally a roller coaster of highs and lows. And the scary part is, you never really realize how the hormonal changes are going to hit you, or even when, until you’re knee deep in uncontrollable sobbing.

Today, we celebrated our baby’s 2nd birthday. Even though she’s 2 now, she will forever and always be my baby. We happily gave her whatever she wanted to do the whole day. She got to pick her meal options the whole day (oatmeal, cream cheese toast, and Chick-fil-a for those enquiring minds). We let her go to Target and pick out candy (she choose gummy bears) after she said that’s what she wanted to do. She got to make all the choices. It was such a simple and carefree day.

But that doesn’t mean there wasn’t low moments either.

Seeing her newborn picture pop up in my newsfeed instantly brought me back to those first moments of having her in our life. Seeing the first picture of her and her older sister bonding immediately hit me that she will never get to play the big sister role. I know that our nursing relationship may be coming to an end sooner than later. She’s running out of “firsts” to celebrate.

I didn’t realize how much I still want another baby.

I want to feel life growing inside of me again. Little hiccups and legs stretching.

I want to see Andrew’s giddy face as he feels the baby move for the first time.

Part of me wishes we could argue again about what we are going to name our baby.

I want to feel the rush of naturally giving birth and holding a squishy human for the very first time.

I want to feel the instant bond of euphoria as I nourish my baby into their first milk drink coma.

Desperately, I yearn to watch as my girls bond with a new baby. Loving and kissing and snuggling with their sibling.

I want to watch as this person that I helped to create grow into their own unique personality.

And as much as I love my girls with all of my heart, part of me will always want to have given Andrew a son.

I didn’t realize how much I still want another baby, but I’m trying to accept this is our reality.

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