This post, They’re not really your friends, is about the misconception of the social media era. It discusses the issues that arise when people believe social media follows equals friendship. 
Friend (noun): a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection (Family and romantic partners are usually excluded from this definition)
I remember a few years after Andrew (my fiancé) and I started dating, I was talking about “a friend.” He stopped me and said, “who are we talking about?” “Oh, my friend X,”. He looked at me and said, “why do you call everyone your friend? You don’t really know that person, y’all barely talk.
It’s easier sometimes to just call people your friends. Sometimes it also makes you feel good about yourself if you don’t have many close friends. Everyone wants to be the “popular” person, but very few are. I was well into my adulthood when I realized that I was never going to be one of those girls. I wasn’t one in middle or high school. And college was a bust too. I never got into one crowd and I sort of blew with the wind. It took me a long time to realize that there’s nothing wrong with that. And to be honest, it’s something I still have to work on.
Everyone wants to have friends. Everyone wants to be the even “sort of” popular person. Social media has pushed us even more to be on the up and up, in the know and keeping up with what everyone is doing. Have you watched the last shows, got your kids the latest clothes and best believe you should be sporting the latest tech gadgets – no longer if but how many Alexas do you own?
It’s so easy to get sucked into the desire to be everyone’s friends and call everyone your friend.
Unfortunately, They’re not really your friends.
“If someone doesn’t have your phone number, they aren’t really your friend”.
That seems like a simple enough explanation right? We aren’t in middle school anymore. We aren’t writing KIT on a piece of paper and waiting around the phone for our friend to call us on our parents house line (or beep us or call our first cellphone but only after 7pm).
Everyone has a cellphone. Instantly, we can communicate with the entire world around us 24 hours a day. How can you say you are truly friends with someone if you don’t have a reliable source of communication with them?
It’s something I heard in one of the many groups I’m in on Facebook a few months ago. I can’t remember the group or the person that said it but the sentiment has stayed with me.
Facebook goes down (more regularly lately than in the past it seems). If it stayed down forever how many of those “friends” would you still talk to? How many of them are you trying to keep up with that could care or less if they ever spoke to you again if it never came back up? What is the number of times you realized that you were no longer “friends” with someone that you had previously spent a good portion of time conversing with, sharing laughs and likeminded conversations.
Unfortunately, They’re not really your friends. None of them.
Even though I’ve had numerous reminders of this throughout the last few years, sometimes things need to happen to you for you to really realize it. A few years ago, a friend got off Facebook and said, “No one will check on your if you get off social media.” I laughed and brushed it off. I’ve taken a day off here and a weekend off there, but recently was offline for almost a week due to illness.
Want to know how many friends I had checking up on me? Two. That’s not to say I only have two friends, but sometimes it takes a moment like that to realize that the subtle messages you’ve been receiving are really true. You can have 17 million Instagram followers and 5000 Facebook friends, but what does that mean at the end of the day? Does it even matter if you don’t have a true form of actual communication with them?
Unfortunately, They’re not really your friends.
So who is?
You know who truly matters at the end of the day. Your family. The people that hug you tight and laugh with you, are there when you cry, and continue to check on you. While Facebook or Instagram may be an outlet or a way to escape for a few minutes, I encourage you, starting today, to put down the phone and actually spend more time with the people right there in front of you.
Take your kids for a walk. Go to dinner with a friend. Play a board game with your significant other. Strike up a conversation with the person at the gym who doesn’t have their phone out. You may be missing real connection with real people because your worries about people in a box, connected through data points, who would never check on you if you never logged in again.
Unfortunately, they’re not really your friends.
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Great insights. Thanks for sharing ♥️ ♥️
Love,
Tiffany
Interesting article. It’s hard to find true friends, in the life of these you can only find a couple of people 🙁