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What I wasn’t told before I had kids..

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When you get pregnant for the first time, everyone has unwarranted parenting advice they feel the need to share with you. Granted, some of it is useful and appreciated, most of it however is nuts. And if it is coming from your parents or in-laws, it is most likely outdated. They tend to take offense when you do not praise their advice or do as they did, but that is a whole other subject. Despite all this advice, they have a tendency to leave out the important things. Here’s a few examples of what I wasn’t told before I had kids…


Spontaneity? What is that? Remember those random weekend getaways with girlfriends… Those are in the past. {que Sarah Mclachlan– “I will remember you…”} The only spontaneity left in your life will be when you get sprayed in the face with pee or when your child arbitrarily vomits in an isle at Target… (Not quite as fun as that weekend getaway to New Orleans)

Friendships will change, some may even completely vanish. But that’s okay! You are a changed woman, your life is no longer what it once was- it makes sense that the people in it change too. You are no longer going out for nightly martinis, or dancing the night away. (Unless perhaps you are taking your daughter to dance lessons and martinis are replaced with Starbucks)


Finding a babysitter is not as easy as it appeared in “The Baby-Sitters Club.” No way in hell I am going up to a bulletin board at the grocery store and trusting someone on there with my children. (unless of coarse it was Kristy and her gang- they were awesome)

One of the BIGGEST pieces of advice people will give you…. “Nap when they are Napping” I call bull. Occasionally that may be an option, but honestly that’s when I get my best cleaning done. No little helpers helping you “fold” the laundry. And if I am not cleaning, I am enjoying a shower… ALONE!
Bubble baths- those are your spa days- and now that you are a mom, a bubble bath is an amazing, amazing gift. Especially if you can spend more than 15 minutes soaking in the bath and possibly have time to drink an entire glass of wine and read a chapter in a book that has most likely been sitting on your night stand for 3 months.  Uninterrupted showers rarely happen. In fact showering alone, with no one else in the bathroom peering at you from behind the shower curtain is a foreign concept once you hit the toddler stage.  

 

Mom guilt- it is an extremely powerful and awful thing. And it will be with you for a long time. (I didn’t buy organic, I only breastfed my daughter for a year, I didn’t breastfeed at all, Pinterest {oh my Pinterest}). Just remember these things do not define you and you are a wonderful mother whether you baked your cupcakes from scratch or picked them up 15 minutes before the party from the local grocery store.

There will be A LOT of crying. (Happy tears, scared tears, worried tears, tired tears) Just know you aren’t alone- we all secretly and not so secretly cry.

This is a tough one…..
 
There will be days you want to throw in the towel. You will think you aren’t cut out for motherhood, and you may miss your old life, and contemplate running away from it all. That moment will fade quicker that it even crossed your mind. You will look at your child, be flooded with such a strong emotional bond that you will want to cry for even letting those thoughts cross your mind. (Don’t worry you’re not alone here either) Just remember every rough moment brings 20 more happy ones.

But remember always; no matter what they do, you will never feel a stronger love for anything in the world. They are your life, they may drive you crazy, but they also make you smile and laugh and love like never before.

 

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Comments

  1. kiddiematters.com says

    I agree with everything in this post. Like seriously, who can just fall asleep in the middle of the day when their child naps? I've never been able to do that. The hardest one for me was losing friends, My priorities changed and I just didn't have the time to be an involved friend. It was more important for me to be an involved parent. I found that my true friends understood this

    Reply

  2. Julia Hunter says

    Oh the babysitters club made it seem so easy to find a sitter. My son is 4 and we have finally found some reliable sitters.

    Reply

  3. All Natural Katie says

    Great post! Thank you for sharing the ups and downs of parenthood. It's been a rough start to the new year and I needed to read this post to get back into a better frame of mind.

    Reply

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