It takes a village to raise a family. We’ve all heard the phrase. However, as our society becomes more and more online based, less personal, we frequently forget what things we can actually be doing to help our close friends and those that truly need support in their moment of need. One of those moments are right after someone has a baby.
Three and a half years ago, when I first had our daughter Skibbles, I had no idea what I was in store for when I brought her home. I had babysat kids since I was 11 or 12 years old. I had “helped raise” my best friend’s son and my nieces. Yet, here I was with this insanely small human and found myself at a loss on how to get everything completed. How did I get dinner on the table? How did I shower? How did I get laundry and grocery shopping and simple errands done? All I knew is that this little human just wanted me to hold her and hated the car. Fast forward to baby #2 and I found myself asking many of the same questions and then some. How did I keep the toddler occupied while I breastfed? How did I keep up with dishes for now four people? How did I even function with two kids now?
Luckily, I had an incredible team of amazing wing women in my life that made those first few days at home easier as we adjusted to life as a family of four.
Here’s 10 things that an amazing wing woman in my life has done or I have done for others.
- Bring A Meal (or 3)
- As much as we say we are going to freezer prep 6 months worth of dinners, most of us are lucky if we do seven meals. Help us out and bring a meal, preferably one that can be frozen in case someone else already brought dinner over. Better yet, bring something like muffins or grab and go snacks for us to have throughout the day.
- Take the older children outside (or away for a day if we are close friends/family)
- New moms want to rest. Older kids tend to be needy. Help!
- Clean the dishes
- No one ever feels like doing this. Ever. Let alone someone that just pushed an entire being out of their body. The last thing we want to do is stand at the sink and clean the dishes
- Do the Laundry
- It piles up fast, especially with a newborn. A new mom doesn’t care if you didn’t do it perfectly or folded towels in the opposite direction she normally does. Just don’t wash 5 loads and leave them all for her to fold.
- Grab things off their grocery list
- At the store? Text or call and see if she needs anything. Drop it off at her doorstep without having to come inside.
- Clean up the house
- See toys everywhere? Put them all in one pile. Dirty counter? Wipe it down. Toilet needs scrubbed? Do it. Any little thing you can see, just help.
- Run any errands needed
- Maybe something needs to go to the post office, the dog needs to go to the vet, or she needs to pick up a prescription — whatever you can see she needs help with, do.
- Take pictures
- Moms always take pictures of their baby with someone else, but most people don’t think of taking pictures of the mom in the moment. Do this favor for her so she has something to treasure forever. Bonus points: Print out and give her the pictures you’ve taken.
- I know this may sound harsh, but help out and then leave. No one wants to entertain right after having a baby. Rest is key. Don’t ask to hold the baby if she doesn’t offer, don’t sit around and ask what’s for dinner, don’t ask her to get you anything.
- Stop by after the first two weeks
- Everyone always wants to stop by and see a new squishy baby, but after the first two weeks, no one calls to come by anymore. The first 6 weeks are the hardest, come by after the first two weeks.
And two things not to do. Don’t ask to hold the baby. If mom is okay with you holding the baby, she will offer the baby to hold. Also, don’t say “let me know if I can do anything”, just do it. Most people don’t want to be an inconvenience. A wing woman is someone that helps you with all your needs. Be the wing woman you hoped that someone was to you!
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.